piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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