I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize