guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Sext me about skeletons
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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