yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
