I'm gonna have a badass scar
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
