I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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