She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
