yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My penis needs a shock collar
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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