I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
