I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
