she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
