I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
