But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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