I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize