I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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