apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I love having hate sex.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
