I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
