The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
How external is "for external use only"?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
