Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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