Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
