Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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