2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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