I feel great
I just peed on a car
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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