i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
