people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
