She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
