my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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