This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
