No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
this is an emotional support booty call
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
