Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize