a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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