he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize