My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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