So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
