Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
