Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
