my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
