Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Randomize
