FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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