Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
