All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
