Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
