Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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