so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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