So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
