You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
