Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
