Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
