I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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