Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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