Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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