Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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