Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
