Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
