he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
