he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
