My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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