Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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