I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
