Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
