First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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