It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
