There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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