So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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