Sponge bath it is.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
