where am i from again
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
