I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize