Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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