Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
