dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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