You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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