I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
