The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
