In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
