okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize