Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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