I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
